


Hobbit and LOTR Oneshots!

by iisaduck



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, I Don't Even Know, I will write more for this, Reader is a dwarf
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-22
Updated: 2019-09-25
Packaged: 2020-10-25 21:22:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20730968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iisaduck/pseuds/iisaduck
Summary: This is a going to be collection of LOTR and Hobbit oneshots. Some I will continue, depending on how much I like it, and I’m open to requests and suggestions! I will add tags as I go on.





	1. Pain

**Author's Note:**

> The reader is hit by the black arrow that was meant for Kili.
> 
> I will write more for this, but umm sorry if you don’t like it? I’m open to any suggestions for chapters, mainly because I don’t know what to write. But anyway, enjoy!

Pain.

That at is what you felt when the arrow that was aimed for someone else hit you. It sunk deep into the flesh of your knee, stopping you right in your tracks.

“(Y/n)!”

Someone called- no _yelled_ your name, but you didn’t know who.

You collapsed onto your knees and clutched your bleeding wound, trying to slow the bleeding down, grimacing as you hand met torn flesh. You looked up, up to the lever you had come to pull. Reaching for the wall to help you up, your arms flailed for the wooden lever. You screamed in pain as the effort stretched your leg.

_I’m not giving up… not now!_ You thought before you reached for the lever once more.

You hand latched onto the smooth wooden surface and you tugged with all your might. It creaked as you pulled it down, opening the metal gate that was blocking your way out.

The barrels on the water started to move and you limped over to where you saw one that was empty. Jumping inside it, you let out another pained scream when the arrow that was stuck in your knee was now abruptly torn out.

“(Y/n)!” You heard Thorin yell.

Your eyes met briefly for a second, eye contact you couldn’t keep, but then the barrels started to move down stream and you lost sight of him. Falling and rolling down the current, the barrels bumped into each other. You tried to look past the water gushing all around you, but all you caught were glimpses of elves and orcs chasing you along the river bank.

Then, some of the orcs that were chasing you started to jump onto the barrels and attack you and the dwarves. Weapons were chucked around and heads were detached, from the orcs that is. As comical as it was that your enemies couldn’t quite catch you as you speed down the stream, your knee was killing you. You were being tossed around in the water and in the process, your leg was being tossed around with it.

After many tosses and turns, the elves and orcs were left behind and soon the rush of water slowed down. You now had to paddle with your arms to keep moving forward. You were beyond tired from the stain of paddling and from the pain of you wound.

You could feel yourself growing weaker by the second and your eyes were becoming heavy. Not to mention you were cold from the icy water and lack of clothes. You thought you were about to tip over in your barrel when everyone started to swim over to the bit of land that was the start of another path.

  
You tried to paddle over to the land so you could rest your aching arms, but you lacked the energy to move on and you could feel you eyes closing in fatigue.

_Not now! I have to stay… awake…_

You desperately tried to take control of your body and stay awake, but the poison in your system had the upper hand. It was as if your whole body shut down, you collapsed in the barrel, making it tip over and you to float out face down in the water.

~*~

“Where’s (Y/n)?” Someone asked.

Everyone looked around, you weren’t on shore anywhere. Thorin looked around, he was starting to panic when you were no where to be found. Then he realised.

Thorin rushed towards you in the water, picking you up bridal style and rushing you over to land, you felt lifeless in his arms and he prayed to Mahal you’d be alright. Oin went over to bind your knee and to check your pulse. It was weak from the poison, but it was there nonetheless. Reaching out to hold your hand, Thorin felt how cold it was- how cold you were. He took off his jacket and draped it around your frail shoulders. Everyone was quiet as they waited for any signs that you were okay.

_I need to wake up! Wake up! Wake UP!_ You chanted to yourself as you desperately tried to regain consciousness. You only managed to open your eyes slightly, seeing Thorin staring down at you in concern. You forced your eyes open more and tried to sit up, Thorin helping you stand. The dwarves breathed a sigh of relief and went back to wringing out the wet clothes.

He smiled softly at your steadfastness, and helped you stay upright by holding your arm.

“What doesn’t kill me makes me stronger.” You joked, attempting to be funny and smile, but your knee was in so much pain you couldn’t seem to.

Thorin chuckled at you but then turned sincere, “Don’t ever do that again.” he rubbed your cheek bone and stared at you with so much emotion. You would’ve blushed if you weren’t in so much pain.

“I’m…”

You attention was pulled from the situation when there was an arrow that went flying towards poor Ori, who was emptying his out the water in his shoe. Then there was another that went flying towards Kili, who -Thank the gods- blocked it in time with a branch.

“Do it again and your dead.” Said a male voice from the other side of the shore, holding a bow aimed to shoot at his command.

Everyone was still.

Balin went to make small talk with the man, but you didn’t listen. You couldn’t listen, not with the amount of pain your knee was giving you. You started to zone out and your eyes began to grow heavy, your legs getting tired of standing. Leaning into Thorin slightly from strain of your painful knee. He felt you leaning into him and looked to you in concern. Your eyes locked. You blinked. He seemed to be saying your name, but you couldn’t hear it. Everything was like it was happening in slow motion. Your legs buckled and gave way. Someone caught you before you hit the ground, holding you close. You tried and fought against the poison to stay awake. But you couldn’t stay awake anymore.

  
~*~

“Thorin…” You whispered the first name that came into mind as your eyes fluttered open, waking up into pain again.

“(Y/n).”

You realised someone was holding your hand. It was Thorin.

“Where are we…?” You asked in curiosity, as you noted that you were lying on a table of some sort.

It was dimly lit in the room, candles graced about on shelves and tables, giving you just enough light to see that there were tears falling down Thorin’s face.

“We’re in lake town. A man called Bard has given us lodging.” He replied.

You groaned as the pain in your knee only became worse, making you close your eyes and grimace.

“(Y/n)! Are you-“

Suddenly there was someone barging at the front door. All the sleeping dwarves woke and Thorin looked to the door. Then it barged open and three very mean and very scary looking orcs came in, weapons raised and ready.

The dwarves reached for their weapons and charged for the beasts, killing them. When they were dead, everyone breathed a sigh of relief. But the victory was short lived when more orcs came in.

You moaned and clutched your leg, the pain was taking over your body. You could see your blood leaking through the bandage wrapped around your knee.

Even more orcs came in and the home became a battle ground as more were slain. Thorin jumped in front of you, shielding you from the orc that came running in your direction. Once all of the orc filth were killed, Thorin and the other dwarves rushed over to you again.

You lay there, still, eyes closed. You had stopped moving moments ago when the pain was too much for you. Your heart beat was slowing down, almost nonexistent by how slow it was beating. You breaths were short and shallow.

Thorin dropped his sword and took your weak hand, holding it in his strong one. His tears from before had come back, a few falling down from his eyes as he looked at your limp form.

Others of the group were already crying and paying respects.

“…please… don’t leave me… don’t leave me (Y/n)…” He said, bringing your hand up to his face.

He watched your moving chest as it rose and fell in bursts. Your breathing was becoming even slower and quicker and more shallow by the second. Your was hand colder and limper every minute. Then it happened, after a while of silence. You stopped breathing, your hand becoming impossibly still in his. The tears in his eyes fell freely down his cheeks. _No…_

“She’s gone…”


	2. Pranks on you!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kili/Reader
> 
> The trio of trouble pull pranks.

“I’m like 20% sure this plan will work. The other 80% means we could die horribly and violently, but honestly? It’s a really solid plan.”

The two audacious princes turned their heads to look at you, before turning theirs heads to look at who was headed down to the stream. Your attention was now on the tattooed dwarf.

Dwalin was now walking down to the stream to bathe. You weren’t going to be pervs, that’s just gross, you only wanted to have a bit of fun and see what would happen if you took his stuff when he was bathing.

Looking down towards the hunk of a dwarf who was now hip deep in water, there was a silent order that went between the three of you and you all moved into place. When you were all ready, the plan took commence:

Kili started by taking Dwalin’s towel, which was hung in a nearby tree branch. Dwalin didn’t seem to notice even as Kili slipped away, a small giggle escaped his mouth as he ran back to the hiding spot to over look the plan that was now in action.

You then went to take Dwalin’s soap, which was in a rock, and swapped it with a small piece of bark that was the same colour. Then you vanished into the bushes, soon joining Kili to watch the show.

Fili went and took Dwalin’s clothes, which were stationed on an overhanging branch. He left him only a sock in modesty before he too ran off to join the rest of you.

And then, your work began to unfold…

When Dwalin reached for the soap, his hand was met with the prickliness of the bark. His expression was priceless as he looked around in confusion.

“Where’s my damned soap?”

He said with such anger, and with the thick accent of his, that it cracked all the three of you up. You tried to contain your laughter, but you weren’t quiet enough. Dwalin turned his head abruptly and death stared the three of you.

“I _swear_ if that’s you, Kili, Fili and (Y/n). I will… will.” He reached for his towel. But where was it? Frustration was written into his expression and you could swear you saw it go red with anger.

He started to wade out of the water and head in your direction, clutching his lower half to cover up what needed to be covered.

The three of you stilled. _Shoot_.

“That’s our cue to run.” You said before you bolted.

Not soon after you had run, Kili and Fili had joined you, catching up to you almost immediately. You could hear Dwalin yelling at you from behind.

“I’m going to catch you three!”

“Where do we go?” Kili asked in panic as the angry monster gained on you.

“Run into where the company is and pretend like we were eating.” Fili said.

And with that you sprinted till you were near the campsite. You slowed down to a brisk walk before taking bowls and sitting down to eat like nothing happened.

~*~

The rest went smoothly. Well….

Dwalin stormed in, naked. Clutching his lower half, he stomped over to where the three of you were seated.

There were gasps, and a lot of snickers, from many of the onlooking dwarves as the angry Dwalin addressed you.

“You took my-“

“Mister Dwalin!” Kili exclaimed standing up and facing the beast. “Show some respect and cover yourself! We have a _LADY_ here!” Kili said gesturing at you and grabbing a nearby blanket, shoving it in his face.

He stood there, glaring you, eyeing you from head toe. You could tell he was about to say something, probably yell in your faces, but whatever he was about to say was interrupted by the gasp of someone entering the clearing.

“Dwalin! By Durin you have no respect. What do you think you are doing?!” Dori had entered. He had stormed straight for Dwalin before practically pulling by the ear right out of camp. On the way he had scolded him like a mother would her child. “There’s a lady here! You should do well to remember that.”

You snickered and looked over to Kili and Fili, who were giggling right along with you. But the moment didn’t last for long.

“Fili! Kili! (Y/n)! Get over her right now!”

~*~

You sat down and sighed.

After facing the wrath of Thorin, who by the way lectured you about behaving and acting your age (which you couldn’t), you had been put on clean up duty for the night. You, Fili and Kili had been forced to scrub and wash every plate and bowl whilst under the watchful eye of Balin.

Once done, you three had escaped to the top of the small hill. The view of the fading sunset filling the empty silence.

“Who’s next?” You asked, mainly in curiosity of what the outcome would be.

“That is undecided.” Fili replied smoothly with a smirk on his face.

You saw that the same smirk was replicated on his brothers face. Watching a silent conversation undergo through the two brothers, you knew they were up to something.

“Right.” You said, drawing out the word and eying them both.

_They’re up to something and I’m going to find out_. You thought as you looked at them even more intensely, narrowing your eyes on them to see if they would crack.

“Fili. My boy, Thorin wants to have a word with you.” Balin said, clear instructions in his tone that it wasn’t going to be any old chat.

Fili looked from his brother, then to to you. He stood and headed down the hill with Balin.

When he was gone, the air seemed to get thicker and the situation awkward. You and Kili watched the fading sunset in silence. Let me explain for you, whenever you and Kili were alone together, the two of you could never stop blushing and stuttering, or making fools of yourselves. Actually that was mainly you. When you were alone with someone you had a crush on, you made the situation one million times more awkward than it already was by tripping over your feet or doing something really embarrassing. You couldn’t help yourself. But when there were other people, other people like Fili who made it less awkward, you could be more relaxed. That’s why you had always tried to hang out with _both_ of them, rather than just one.

“I do have to ask. What is it that you are planning.” You asked, raising a brow to look more confident than you felt.

“That is nothing for you to worry about.” He smirked, still looking at the sunset.

“Really?” You replied.

Staring him down you tried to gain his attention. And all the while you could see the smirk on his face grow.

“Who’s the suspect?” You continued.

“Oh. No one you would know _too_ personally.” He said, pulling his eyes from the now dark sky.

You could see the mirth dancing in his eyes, mocking you. Sighing in fake annoyance, you crossed your arms and pouted.

“You’re no fun.”

~*~

“It’s all yours (Y/n).” Bilbo said sitting down next to you and drying his wet hair.

“Thanks.” You said with a smile.

Grabbing your towel and soap you headed down to the small river that was nearby. It had been a hard day on the road and you wanted nothing more than to wash the dirt off of you, not to mention have a good night sleep.

On your way down, you couldn’t help but notice a few noises from behind trees and under bushes. Once you reached the stream you sighed, and practically forgot the noises. Taking off your clothes, you left your underwear on. Ever since the bathing instance at the start of the journey you had always worn some sort of clothes while bathing, just incase. You hung your towel on a nearby tree and put your soap on a rock.

You waded into the cold water and shivered. Reaching for the soap-

Your hand met a piece of bark rather than the lavender smelling soap. You looked to where your towel was hung. Only to find that it wasn’t hung there. Then looking to where your clothes were…

“KILI! FILI!”

**Author's Note:**

> Comments? Kudos?


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